38

Arrivederci 37 and Buon Giorno 38

Another year. Another candle to add to the cake. And most possibly, another grey hair and wrinkle to add to the bunch.

That went quick. I just celebrated my 20th year high school reunion this past weekend and that was a shock to the system. 20 years since graduating high school and it feels like it was almost yesterday. But that's what happens with everything, you can't stop time, can't make it stand still because you're having a moment. It just keeps on, keeping on.

Honestly, celebrating my birthday and getting older doesn't bother me. I love birthdays. Everyday is a reason to celebrate, but your birthday is your very own day to celebrate life. Life in general, but most appropriately, your life. Celebrate what you've created, what you're doing and the things you have yet to accomplish.

This meme I saw on Pinterest awhile back "choose a job you love and you won't ever have to work a day in your life" comes to my mind. I technically don't have a job, not one paid by Uncle Sam anyway. Oh, I've worked. Babysitting since the age of 10 and then "real" jobs starting at 14 all the way up until March 28, 2007, the day before Sofia was born. My good friend once yelled at me for saying "I'm just a mom now" and regularly chastises me when it comes up. He's right to do so though since "just" being a mom can be purpose enough for our life. It is purpose enough for life because it is life.

I may not leave the house in work clothes each morning, get called into meetings or have to go on business trips but I do work. I am constantly in competition with myself to work harder. I played that game at comparing myself to others way back when and that doesn't work for me. They are not me, I am not them, there is no comparison. I can only compete with myself. I can work harder to be a better person...to myself. To not judge myself too harshly. To not give myself an impossible mountain to climb or a pedestal that is way too high for me to ever reach. No official annual review for me, but that doesn't mean I'm not assessing and reassessing often though.

I don't make New Year's resolutions but rather give myself goals to work towards or items I'd like to check off on my list. This is on an as-needed basis not just December 31st. It's simple to get caught up in the daily grind and forget about our dreams and wishes, but I'd like to work harder to see them come to fruition. Regardless of their magnitude, they are important and need to remain a constant in our lives. Whether it's to read more, do something with my photography or to play more with my kids. All important to me and something I need to work on for myself. Sounds a little selfish, but I think sometimes it's ok to be selfish. You have to think of yourself first and make yourself happy first, before you can make anyone else happy.